Sunday, Mar. 17, 2002 | 5:55 p.m.

she told me that she kissed a boy last night. i don't know the boy except from seeing him at school. he seems nice enough. she wants to go to prom with him. i think she would have fun. i asked if they were going to date or hook up or anything. she said they might be friends with benefits.

friends. with. benefits.

sometimes i wonder what this actually means. it's like. you like a boy. and he likes you. and you wanna make out or mess around or whatever. but. you don't want a title for whatever reason. so you can have other friends with benefits. so you never have to break up.

so you can let your

heart

be

broken.

it's all the same. it's just symantics.

there's still a point where the relationship begins and where it ends.

you still become attached.

you still have to detach yourself when it's over.

i know the appeal to this game and all the ways people justify it. i've been a participant and my reasons were the same as yours. and yours. and yours.

i pray for what will happen in this "relationship" of hers. i know how painful it can be. i hope that in the end she learns. she grows. she is stronger.

i'm happy that she talked to me. about something. i'm thrilled that once again

she

let

me

in

i welcome the ability to crack open the door to her heart once more. and. peek. inside.