Tuesday, Jun. 04, 2002 | 12:08 p.m.

this time last year i was in washington, dc with my family, visiting one of my most favorite people ever.

two years ago on my birthday. i was with her. and she loved me. i spent the night at her house and she made me sit alone in her room for approximately thirty minutes while she "got stuff ready." then she sent me on a scavenger hunt...sixteen cards were hidden around the house, each containing some kind of present. she'd worked hard and spent a lot of time on it. and on that evening. i felt like the most important person alive. and this memory means more to me now than i ever dreamed it could.

on my fifteenth birthday she kidnapped me and drove me to btown with her sister and a mutual friend to surprise me with a day out, riding horses and eating crazy expensive food. i never expected any of it.

before my freshman year we got to go to king's island. and she was friends with my friends for my sake. and for this i will always be grateful.

but today i have only received two phone calls. and i wonder if she will even remember that today i turn eighteen. because really. i'd give anything to hear her voice in this moment.

baby girl: i miss you so much it hurts.

happy birthday to me