Saturday, Jul. 06, 2002 | 6:14 p.m.

.itsthEhEarTthaTmAtTeRsmOst.

when something bad happens i want to go to sleep until it's over. but you, you make it okay. you give me the strength to push through it.

when i feel plain and ordinary you let me know i'm pretty. and you point out the parts of me you love, which happen to be the parts i'm most self-conscious about. so i smile and i am grateful that you are authentic. and i feel like i matter in that moment.

and now. now i wonder what you will do. because this frown has changed my entire mood. and i'm saddened by the fact that i leave in a week, but today she told me to have a nice trip. it never used to be like this. i want to hide in my closet until it all goes away.

i just want you to want me.

[is that too much to ask?]