Tuesday, Nov. 05, 2002 | 11:18 a.m.

in my mind i take myself to the cool of your couch. i'm lying there alone, and then you walk around the corner and i see your strong, beautiful body silhouetted against the darkness. you stop there, maybe so your eyes can adjust to the light, or maybe you're just waiting to see what i'll do. i stretch out my hand and whisper come and lie with me. you drag your feet along the carpet until you reach the place where i am, then you stand over me, waiting for me to make room. i move over a little and you squeeze in between me and the back of the couch. you get yourself organized and then i melt myself to you, i find that spot where i fit perfectly next to you and i bind my body to it. simultaneously i lay my arm across your chest the way she does in the tent in the royal tenenbaums, positioning my hand near your heart so i can feel its rhythmic beating, and i snuggle my head between your shoulder and your chin. now i let out a great sigh because everything has found it's perfect place and everything is good and everything is right and i am happy and safe and warm. one final touch, my toes meet your toes. now my world is complete. and in my mind i fall asleep there in your arms.

i take a deep breath without letting this memory pass from my mind. i hold it there until i can finally rest. i exhale and i am okay. sleeping. dreaming. peacefully.