05.18.2004 | 10:28 am

two finals down and two to go, chemistry can eat me and i'll never pick up this book again. last friday was a girls' night out more vivid than the last, full of truth and vulnerability. it's good to know that none of us are saints, i think it makes us appreciate grace more. maybe i'm the only one, but i love our inside jokes. probably because i was always outside of the jokes in my younger years, and it feels good for girls like me to love me this much. and my brother, my brother is smarter than me and downright cooler than me. i'm really okay with this realization, especially if it means i'll get to spend an amazing year with him in this place, my place, our place. and we can go to lunch together and our friends can be each other's friends. and his band is recording and everything is right. i'm happy, really happy about all of this.

apparently xanga is where it's at. your kids love you, and at first i was worried about them reading all your explicitness when your veto man is on vacation, but now i see how amazing it will be when they see that you are a real person and not an out-of-date teacher. i'm happy for you.

in two days i'm coming home for three months of amazing love and service. i'm thinking about seeing your face in twenty-seven minutes, about jumping out of my car and into your arms when i'm done with it all on thursday, and about tonight, the final girls' night out.

i wanna stay nineteen forever, so we can stay like this forever. and we'll never miss a party cause we keep them going constantly. and we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything, cause it's all been done and it's all been said. we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get. you're just jealous cause we're young and in love.