Friday, Mar. 15, 2002 | 10:35 p.m.

i had to work tonight, and it was okay. i met a new boy, his name is jim. i like him. he's nice. i want to be his friend.

but work forced me to come to grips with the horrible reality of this crap situation involving me and my friends. i have a friend who hates confrontation. i need to confront her. this=big problem. i don't know what to do. i love her more than anything in the whole world. but i have no peace. none. and until i say something to her, i will never have peace.

and i will always blame myself for other people's problems. because that is what i do best.

i hate people who incite others to self-destruction (is this even possible?).

"i think you are blind to the fact that the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down."

baby, i need you. cut through this ringing in my ears with your voice that is oh-so-soothing. speak gentle words and kiss my lips. forget that you are one hundred fifty miles away. love me without reservation.

just. love. me.