Monday, Mar. 25, 2002 | 8:07 p.m.

i want to lie next to you in a field under a weeping willow near a creek and drift sweetly to sleep as the warm breeze blows my hair in your face and that beautiful version of "somewhere over the rainbow" that was in the closing scene of finding forrester plays in the background and i want to wear a sun dress and sit in a swing with you gently pushing me along while butterflies float carelessly by and all the world is ours to conquer but we would rather pretend that time has stopped for us and play silly games with rules we made up on our own that would make no sense to an outsider and when night begins to fall i want to run around and catch lightning bugs with you and count the stars for hours and say crazy things like "it's my house" and in that moment i want to kiss you with so much passion that no words would ever do justice that amazing and infinite exchange of love.

and then i want to do it all over again when we are seventy-four and you walk with a cane and i have arthritis in every joint in my body only then instead of running around i want to just feel your face and i want it to be wrinkly and rough like it is late at night when you haven't shaved since the early morning hours and i want to play with your shimmery silver hair and watch the sunlight dance in your gorgeous eyes and i want to listen to you tell stories with your aged wise voice which i will love forever and i want to reminisce about one fateful evening "back in '01" when a little girl and a little boy forgot all their fears for the sake of love and in that moment i want to kiss you with so much passion that no words would ever do justice that amazing and infinite exchange of love.

may God lay His hand over you as you sleep, and guard your dreams against the evil one. may you feel His lips pressed against your forehead. and when you hear the words "i love you" resounding in your ears, know that your Daddy is tucking you in, ready to rock you to the most peaceful of sleep.

i miss you.