Sunday, Apr. 07, 2002 | 5:24 p.m.

for one week i got to escape from this nonsense. i got to be with one girl who is truly my friend [renae], and who i love for her honesty and sensitivity and compassion. and for her sarcasm. i got to be with her friends. and oh. my. they are so hilarious.

it was good to discover that there are seventeenyearold girls out there. who don't smoke. or drink. or have sex. it was good to find teenagers who do silly things like go around with video cameras and tape crazy car rides jamming to terrible songs like "lady marmalade" or adventurous meals in restaraunts where they throw your dinner rolls at you. it was good to be stupid and not worry about being judged for whatever ridiculous comment just came out of my mouth. it was good to listen to 9 girls talking a mile a minute about things and people and places and happenings to which i had no knowledge or understanding. it was good to be. comfortable.

seven weeks of school are ahead of me. the outlook is grim. pray for the day-to-day. pray for new friends like jim to ease the pain of losing old friends like h e r. pray for guidance and discernment and for an open mind. please. pray.

to say i have missed you, jenny, would never do justice this aching of my heart. we drove through tennessee and i thought of you and your future school and i wondered what it would be like to go there and see you on a regular basis. i imagined how beautiful a friendship with you would be. if only. and that made me hate distance and the internet and the extreme impersonalness of it. sometimes life isn't fair. a thousand things

should

be

different.

oh. how i've missed you both.