Wednesday, Apr. 10, 2002 | 8:57 p.m.

i am alone in my defeat. i wish i knew you were safely at home.

my eyes are blurry from the tears. and it scares me to drive. i put my hand over my heart and let my nails dig into my breast. but the pain doesn't compare.

so this is our painful realization that all has gone wrong.

i bleed love for you. a unique and immense passion seeps from my pores. but you'll have none of it. none. of. it.

i don't remember the day i met you or the first words we exchanged. i don't remember the first time i called you on the phone or went to the mall with you or wrote you a note. i don't remember the first movie we saw or the first time i spent the night at your house.

but i remember that night in a field when you let me lie next to you and fall asleep. and i remember that prayer you prayed the night we went forward together at ciy. and i remember the late-night conversations in my hot tub. and i remember secret bike-rides. and i remember your baptism. and i remember us. always together. never apart.

the

memories

will

never

fade.